


Toronto

by Kalypso



Category: Cabin Pressure, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 221B Ficlet, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:46:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalypso/pseuds/Kalypso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Mr Birling get a drink when Sherlock is drafted in to stop Douglas stealing the whisky?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AJHall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJHall/gifts).



> I wrote this shortly before the fourth series of _Cabin Pressure_ aired, and we knew that MJN's first two destinations would begin with T and U. But they actually turned out to be Timbuktu and Uskerty.

"I don't know," said John. "Look what happened last time your brother chartered a plane."

" _He_ hasn't chartered this one," said Sherlock. "A rugby-loving idiot wants it to fly him to Toronto. Canada versus the USA; a warm-up for the World Cup, apparently."

"So what's Mycroft's interest?"

"A crony of his who's going out with the plane's owner bet him that I couldn't stop the First Officer filching an expensive bottle of whisky from the client."

"Doesn't sound much of a challenge for you."

"Somehow, Herc convinced him that it is. Anyway, I thought you liked rugby."

"I do, but that doesn't mean I'd charter a plane to see Canada play the USA. It's a bit second tier."

"As previously mentioned, all chartering is being done by the idiot. We're just along for the ride."

"Oh well, who am I to turn down a free flight to Canada?"

"Good. You'll need to wear these." Sherlock picked up a bag, which turned out to contain a lurid red shirt, a waistcoat and a very shiny neck scarf.

"Why?"

"You're going to play a steward."

"And you?"

"Security officer."

"How come you get all the fun jobs?"

"Mycroft was quite clear that you should be the steward. He said you would be perfect, whereas my manners were - how did he put it? - 'insufficiently bedside'."


	2. Chapter 2

A white-haired woman bearing an alarming resemblance to John's primary school headmistress met them at the airport, and briskly introduced herself as Carolyn Knapp-Shappey.

"Herc's briefed you, I gather," she said as she steered them through passport control. "Usually Douglas steals the Talisker, though he's also doctored the bottle so that it appears undrinkable."

"Mum!" A young man bounded towards them, dressed in the same style as John. "Are they the new crew? Brilliant! Come on, Gerti's this way!"

A short and balding officer was stationed just inside the small aircraft. "Hullo, I'm Captain Martin Crieff. As your captain, I'd like to welcome you aboard..."

"Ah, our new security officer," purred a middle-aged man behind him. "Interesting that we should suddenly need a security officer when we have only one passenger. Perhaps he will attempt to hijack the plane and demand to go somewhere completely different from his requested destination..."

"And this is _my First Officer_ , Douglas Richardson," said the captain, his face turning the colour of the steward's shirt. "I see you've met Arthur, and of course Carolyn..."

"Heigh ho, the gang's all here!" interrupted a new voice. "And a bigger gang than usual. You recruited a couple more cabin boys just for me?"

Carolyn adopted a fixed smile. "Nothing's too much trouble when it's for our favourite passenger, Mr Birling."


	3. Chapter 3

"You keep an eye on the bottle, and I'll observe Richardson," muttered Sherlock as the plane taxied out.

"Come on!" exclaimed Arthur. "We do the pointing at the exit now."

"Er... does Mr Birling really need both of us?" asked John. "Perhaps I'd better watch, and then do it coming back."

"But it's one of the best bits! And I've never done it with someone else before. Just stand behind me, and copy what I'm doing."

John dutifully pointed at the door they had all come in by, and did his best to mime fitting an oxygen mask and putting on a lifejacket when it turned out there were no spare samples.

"Monkey see, monkey do," remarked Mr Birling. "Or am I seeing double already? I haven't had my whisky yet."

"We've got to strap ourselves in for take-off first. This is one of the best bits!"

John had forgotten to bring any sweets to suck during take-off. But his ears were still working, because he could hear Douglas's smooth voice. "Good morning, gentleman, we are on our way to Canada, land of the silver birch, home of the beaver. The flight should take a little over seven hours, so relax while our stewards attend to your needs..."

He released himself and hurried back to the galley. But the cupboard was bare.


	4. Chapter 4

John knocked at the door of the flight deck and asked Sherlock to come out for a private word.

"The bottle's gone," he whispered. "He must have taken it while I was demonstrating safety procedures. I thought you were watching him?"

"I thought you were watching the bottle! But he can't have - he never left the flight deck."

"What's going on?" asked Carolyn.

"We..." John wondered if he could bluff it out until Sherlock deduced what had happened. But his friend's face was blank. "Um... the whisky seems to have disappeared."

"Ah. Well, I must say I was sceptical about inviting all-comers to take on Douglas."

"Taking my name in vain?" enquired the man himself, looking through the door.

"Where is it, Douglas?" demanded Carolyn.

"What?"

"You know very well."

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to try to steal the whisky when you've hired a detective to watch my every move? I'm flattered you think I'm so clever..."

"So who did it?"

"Well, I don't like to cast aspersions, but it sounds as if this steward was the last person to see it, and, as your detective may know, the person who reports the crime is frequently a suspect."

"Why would I take it?" protested John. "Search me, if you like. But Sherlock, surely you know something..."

"No. I'm baffled."


	5. Chapter 5

Being searched by Carolyn Shapp-Knappey was not fun, but eventually she moved on to the overhead lockers.

"Something wrong?" asked Mr Birling.

She drew herself upright. "I'm afraid there has been... a mistake. We seem to have left your whisky behind."

"You do surprise me. But not that much." 

"Naturally, we'll take the cost off your bill."

"Naturally," he said. "I made a mistake myself. I seem to have left the cash for tips behind."

The mood aboard Gerti was subdued for the rest of the flight.

"Well, that was interesting," said Sherlock, watching the crew escort Mr Birling through Pearson Airport. "Shall we have a drink?" He pulled a bottle of Talisker from his coat.

"Sherlock... _you_ stole it?"

"Of course - the first time, anyway. Douglas was right, he couldn't try _then_ , but once you'd all given up he relaxed and stole it back. And we swapped it a couple of times more. It was fascinating, seeing a devious brain like his at work - that was why I came."

"But why didn't you tell Carolyn?"

"You didn't really think I'd help Mycroft win a bet?"

"They were relying on Birling's tips!"

"Herc will spread his winnings around, to impress Carolyn." Sherlock smiled. "And I've promised we'll volunteer for their next trip. They're running a load of tinned pineapple to Ulan Bator."

**Author's Note:**

> The game which Mr Birling apparently rated more highly than John did was Canada v USA at the BMO Field in Toronto on August 6, 2011. Canada won 28-22.
> 
> Although crossovers between _Sherlock_ and _Cabin Pressure_ are popular because Benedict Cumberbatch has a leading role in both, [John Finnemore has stated](http://johnfinnemore.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/the-hairline-of-captain-martin-crieff.html) that Martin Crieff is definitely short, probably red-faced and may well be balding. It's radio, and anything can happen if he says so!


End file.
